The past that haunts..

I often have moments where someone from my past comes to mind and I always try to avoid the thoughts of this person….

I'm going to lay something out there, I am 27 years old and I have never…never….been in a ''long term'' relationship.  I have not had year….two year….5 year relationships with any one person.

I know for a fact, 27 is young for that to happen, but let me say that when you grow up somewhere that the majority of people in your age group are slowly settling down with serious relationships--you feel slightly behind.
I spent 7 months [yes, this is the longest for me…] in what would not call a 'relationship' because we never truly got together face to face…

Let me explain….About 3 or so years ago, I had rejoined Jdate for the hope of meeting new people in Chicago. I went on dates, met some guys from the city and when I finally was going to give up hope on the site, I decided to ''browse around'' [cause hey, it's fun….don't life, you've done it!] and found a guy who was living in Savannah, GA.  I read his profile, and funny enough decided what the hell….and sent off an email.

I come to find out that he is actually overseas in Afghanistan, his base was in Savannah, but since we had hit it off so well through the first email, and we had things in common, we kept talking to build a friendship.

I still remember the first time he asked if he could call, he did that because it would be a long distance call, and the number would show up differently since he was calling from a base.
The first time he called me….HOLY COW, I remember exactly what I was doing….I was at work on a day off getting my hair done. HAHA…and I turned beet red.  The conversation was fantastic [once I finally calmed down from being a giddy 15 year old girl]

This continued, with emails, instant messages [which would mean, as I was getting up in the morning and getting ready for work, he was going to bed and we could talk until computer time was up for him].
7 Months of getting to know each other, chatting via Skype when he was on leave visiting him family state side, being there for him when a fellow comrade passed, knowing personal stories we shared about everything.

Things went rocky, and we severed ties….by this time he was back state-side..There was a few conversations that happened  between the times we weren't talking anymore, and a few of those were emails of  ''maybe we can make this work'' ''i keep wondering 'what if'''
It's been one of the things that probably won't go away until I can find someone who I fit with….but it's hard to continue to have someone who became a fixture [even so many miles away].  To have that one person to continually reoccur in your mind over the years.

Think what you might on whether that is truly a 'relationship' in the sense of the word in which most people tend to think….but to me….it was.

Until next time…