matchmaker matchmaker find me a match...

I was talking to my mom today and after she asked her usual question about dating life [i love you mom!] I cracked….she was asking about the guy that I had gone on a date with and who I had been talking to for a short short while…and I told her that honestly, I have no clue, so then it went into a question about Jdate…and whatever other dating site I have joined in the past.

I made the joke that maybe we should just hire a yenta [aka matchmaker].

Yes yes yes….I'm kidding about it….but the more and more crap I come across in the dating pool, the more I think maybe the ''old school'' isn't so bad. HAHA

Ladies, we all know that people say ''it'll happen when you least expect it'' or ''when you aren't looking it will happen''.  It does get frustrating but putting yourself first and really knowing YOU is what counts before even starting a relationship.

[*Note to mom: I still grant permission for you to keep doing what you've done before and talk me up to any DECENT men that you come in contact with…so really, just keep being you! Love ya!]

The Real Life Berger Break-up?

For those who didn't watch Sex and the City, Berger was one of Carrie's men….and he broke up with her via a post-it note.

Here's the real life ''Berger"……men who end things via an EMAIL….an EMAIL!?!?!

Now this happened to me twice….and both were guys who were extremely nice but all in all, had a few things from their past [at least one had a major thing from his past that I was aware of regarding a previous relationship] and the other was more of a ''whaaaaaa the fuuuuuu?'' sort of moment…

I don't understand it. I'd MUCH rather you contact me by phone or tell me in person, maybe I'm different than other women that way or you are scared that you'd say it to her face to face and you'd have some sob-fest that you'd have to watch.


I sort of wish I had kept the emails though so you could fully enjoy some of the hilarious wording that was used.

Another bites the dust?

I seem to have figured out that I must be the factor of why relationships don't tend to pan out for me…
At least that is what's it's starting to slowly feel like.


A lot of people will try and disagree with me [friends, family…etc.] but I don't always believe their sides…yes, I am glad that they are there for me to listen and add SOME input, but all in all, it's me.
Now this has crossed my mind before--when you are first dating/getting to know someone, wouldn't you consider that the conversations would be very frequent? I mean yes, we have jobs, but we talk consistently around our lives, but it seems like in my case, either the men forget that, and drop off the face of the earth, or I'm too talkative…which shit, I am a ex-theatre actor, a hairstylist, and a jewish gal who has the same flair for very expressive 'hand' talking [think italians….jews fall in the same category!]

I've come across men…who…well who state that they are looking for a relationship on their profiles, and low and behold, they are great for the first week, and then they all go south.

I think today is just ''blah'' with weather and snow, and rain and honestly, everyone loosing their mind over the winter weather.

Until next time….hopefully with a more comprehensive post….

The past that haunts..

I often have moments where someone from my past comes to mind and I always try to avoid the thoughts of this person….

I'm going to lay something out there, I am 27 years old and I have never…never….been in a ''long term'' relationship.  I have not had year….two year….5 year relationships with any one person.

I know for a fact, 27 is young for that to happen, but let me say that when you grow up somewhere that the majority of people in your age group are slowly settling down with serious relationships--you feel slightly behind.
I spent 7 months [yes, this is the longest for me…] in what would not call a 'relationship' because we never truly got together face to face…

Let me explain….About 3 or so years ago, I had rejoined Jdate for the hope of meeting new people in Chicago. I went on dates, met some guys from the city and when I finally was going to give up hope on the site, I decided to ''browse around'' [cause hey, it's fun….don't life, you've done it!] and found a guy who was living in Savannah, GA.  I read his profile, and funny enough decided what the hell….and sent off an email.

I come to find out that he is actually overseas in Afghanistan, his base was in Savannah, but since we had hit it off so well through the first email, and we had things in common, we kept talking to build a friendship.

I still remember the first time he asked if he could call, he did that because it would be a long distance call, and the number would show up differently since he was calling from a base.
The first time he called me….HOLY COW, I remember exactly what I was doing….I was at work on a day off getting my hair done. HAHA…and I turned beet red.  The conversation was fantastic [once I finally calmed down from being a giddy 15 year old girl]

This continued, with emails, instant messages [which would mean, as I was getting up in the morning and getting ready for work, he was going to bed and we could talk until computer time was up for him].
7 Months of getting to know each other, chatting via Skype when he was on leave visiting him family state side, being there for him when a fellow comrade passed, knowing personal stories we shared about everything.

Things went rocky, and we severed ties….by this time he was back state-side..There was a few conversations that happened  between the times we weren't talking anymore, and a few of those were emails of  ''maybe we can make this work'' ''i keep wondering 'what if'''
It's been one of the things that probably won't go away until I can find someone who I fit with….but it's hard to continue to have someone who became a fixture [even so many miles away].  To have that one person to continually reoccur in your mind over the years.

Think what you might on whether that is truly a 'relationship' in the sense of the word in which most people tend to think….but to me….it was.

Until next time…

Valentine's Day

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH….or is it?  I am pretty sure that I have been single most valentine's day, and you know what, I don't even care.

I had a bunch of beautiful text messages from friends and one from dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun the ''stage 5 clinger'' I thought for SURE the lack of conversation was a clue that we aren't talking….at least this time it wasn't the random ''shabbat shalom'' [thank you, yes we are both jewish…but there's no need for the random text when we aren't speaking]

Anywho…

Don't let being single bum you out, tonight, some single city ladies are getting together for a potluck and movies and games. That sounds WAAAAAAAAY more fun than flowers and chocolate. [Lie…chocolate is still good, but I've got that covered….]

Happy Valentine's Day to all my single city ladies!

Sorry….what?!

So two posts today….but this one is because my mom and a few of my friends said I needed to…this is a blurb about a date I had with someone last year…
Get ready folks…and if ANY men read this blog and are single, never pull this crap--which most men I've come across don't…but even if you know someone who would…tell them to read it, or just slap them upside the head so they can get their brain back in gear…

As a hair stylist I know that my hair is subject to change color or length or style very quickly. I did my best to keep an updated picture as well as a few somewhat older pictures where my hair was shorter, but I look the same for the most part otherwise.On a hot summer evening, after a day at work, the guy I was talking to had asked me if I’d like to meet up after I got off. Of course, we had been talking so I was open to it, since our conversation had been nice. Ladies, what you are about to read next is something I still cannot wrap my head around. 
After making my way downtown, we met at The Bean [a giant metal bean shaped figure in Chicago’s downtown.]  We meet up and we start talking and walking to make our way for drinks at a nearby bar.I kid you not, about 10 minutes in he stops and tells me “You look so different in your pictures....and I don’t want to be an asshole, but....ah I feel so bad, I’m just not attracted to you.’’ 

*cricket....cricket* 

We are standing in the middle of the sidewalk of downtown Chicago with the hustle and bustle passing us...all I could think to do was smile, and say “....okay, not a problem, bye.” Yeah....my older brother’s advice was to throw a drink in his face. I say, do what you gotta do, I didn't even get a drink to have the chance to throw it in his face….so I responded with a little email back which went something like this:

“Next time you go on a date with someone, and the attraction isn't there, don't tell someone straight up--I understand where you were coming from, because hey, I wasn't attracted to you either...”
“suck it up dude...you asked someone out, finish the date....and leave it there. If the person contacts you again you simply say ''I had a nice time but I don't think there was any chemistry'' 

It was my way of getting my point across, and men....PLEASE, just finish the damn date even if you don’t find her attractive or it was awkward. 
Every time I think about that story I cringe and wish I DID have a drink to throw in his face, but we’ll move on from it.

Men in the city

Is it just me…or do the rest of you ladies living in Chicago pull the ''oh he's cute, lemme check his left hand for a ring'' 
I know for a fact that when I see a very nice looking man while out walking/running errands..etc…I have done the ''left hand glance''. 

On another note, there is a guy who comes into the store, and he must either ride his bike or he comes from working out…either way, the first time he came into the store, he had on these EXTREMELY tight biking pants, and I am sorry that's like saying ''HELLO LOOK AT MY PACKAGE''…..I went to ask him if he needed help [before noticing his workout gear] and flat out couldn't believe my eyes…I seriously think it was the most obvious crotch look ever, and I was overly embarrassed

He's been in the store now multiple times shopping, still in his tight spandex pants….luckily he's gay and so the crotch check from a female wasn't anything big. HAHA…oy

Updates

I've found that after refocusing on things, dating is kind of on the back burner, however, I am still on the dating scene.  [I just have a more clear image in my head of what,where,when]
I am being a 27 year old woman who lives in the city.
I recently was introduced to a new dating app, we will see what stems from it….it's interesting, tells me who I know in common which makes things even more hilarious when you see who knows who….essentially it's ''jewish geography'' without EVERYONE being jewish…haha

I've been on a few dates with one person currently, and surprised myself and how open and comfortable we are when it comes to talking and hanging out…opening up my ''pool'' has been a great and rewarding experience.

There's also something that currently has been an interesting new development…I have started having small here and there chats with someone who I went to high school with, and we never talked in school.  We knew of each other [I assume he knew of them then….since we're friends via Facebook] but never ran in the same crowd.
I really enjoy the small convos, and we've discussed meeting for drinks whenever I get back to Kansas to just really kind of sit and chat and the more I chat with him [although these are nothing big] the more I think ''huh….I think I like him a bit''  [Doesn't hurt that he's extremely adorable in all his pictures too!]
Funny how things change as you get older and you get out of where you grew up, funny how people you never expected to connect with--you end up connecting and chatting with after almost 10 years.

I promise to keep up more with these blogs, I have a LOT more motivation this year than ever before with my life and my plans. I can't wait to share more with you all.